Well on this rollercoaster ride that is trying to concieve there are always up and downs......even when you don't expect them.
This morning when we got up there was a message on the phone from the fertility clinic. It was the lab tech calling to update us on our 6 embryos that we have at the lab. He then says that they have all died!! WHAT??? How do they go from being strong 8 & 10 cell embryos on Thursday to dead on Sunday morning. "Sometimes that happens" (For those of you who don't know this is what happened last IVF cycle but we had 4 and they arrested - "died") So after hearing this message it sent me into the mind set that we are repeating exactly what happened last time.....so the emotions rush over you and you think to yourself.....I can't do this again!
This cycle was feeling SO DIFFERENT than the last....everything from the meds to the retrival to the amount of eggs....even to our 8 cell compacting embryos that we transfered. We had the head of the clinic preform the transfer which was amazing because that is one of the most important procedures of all this......everything felt like it was going different and better almost.
We are both very disapointed and sad that our little lab embryos didn't make it but we are going to focus all our love and energy on the 2 little ones that are hopefully getting REALLY comfy in my uterus.
A good friend of mine also let us know that her transfer didn't work and she got a BFN (big fat negative) so my heart was breaking for her. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make her feel less pain. Only time & love will help!
So I sit and wonder if this journey is so rough/hard, why do we stay on it for so long??? I know the end result will be amazing and wonderful.......but sometimes its hard to see that through all the crap!!
LOVE & HUGS to L! Hope your heart heals quickly!
2 comments:
We keep going because we are going to be really good moms, and our little ones will be worth it. Thanks for the love!
I am very sorry that you got that news on Sunday :( I am only at the start of my struggles with infertility and already feel the pain and heartbreak and so i can only imagine when you get that far what it does to you....but lets hope and pray that the 2 little soldiers are staying strong with you and that your struggles will soon stop. Love and hope coming yrou way lady. xoxoxox
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