I hope that this all makes sense to those who are reading this. Its hard to make sense of it all and even harder to put it into words.
When did hope become a scary thing for me??
Going through this infertility journey at some point having hope became a scary thing for me. I feel like I need/want to have hope to move forward and be positive but at the same time the more hope I have the harder the fall will be if things don't go our way. I think part of this is also what we have been through in the past. I am really hopeful that this is our time and that we will have our baby(S) soon, but at the same time there are moments where my mind stops me from being so hopeful in case...just in case.
The biggest/hardest part of anyone infertility journey is the mind games that you play with yourself. Everything from phantom symptoms to the hope/not hope issue. Feeling better after all the medications and procedures and then feeling badly because if you are pregnant shouldn't you feel something different. (cramps, nausea or lightheaded) It really is an up and down roller coaster ride....unfortunately not one you choose to get on or off of.
I am working our way through the waiting period and hopefully our lives change forever!
Please keep sending love & prayers!
