Well today was an overwhelming day for me. After my ultrasound and blood work I sat for a few mins in the nurses room while she explained what comes next. They think that the retrieval will be Monday or Tuesday so we were talking about HCG injection and the new progesterone injection and what happens the day of the surgery. WHOA!! I know we have been here done this but its all moving so fast this time through.
The good news is that I have many good size follicles and that there are 20 still that are between 1.1 and 1.5..... 9 that are 1.8 to 1.5 so that s really good.
I have been going from feeling really really moody to just numb.....my brain is also not working as it normally does, I am fortunate to have a great work partner that makes me feel less stupid and we laugh about it.
Between the medications and the hot weather my body temp feels way higher than usual.
Over all I am looking at today as one more day done and now focusing on tomorrow.....one day at a time!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Day 5
Quick post tonight. Today's ultrasound went well 8 big follicles and 27 small. The new medication is making feel yucky most of the time but nothing I can't get through...right? Ryan has mastered the art of giving injections and is my rock when it comes to all of that. I did get poked twice by the nurse today who was taking blood.
That's about it for today!
HAPPY 9th ANNIVERSARY RYAN!!! Love you! xoxoxo
That's about it for today!
HAPPY 9th ANNIVERSARY RYAN!!! Love you! xoxoxo
Monday, July 12, 2010
Quick update
Today I went for ultrasound and blood work. All is looking good so far....it is day 4 of gonal F and they started me on Cetratide injections. I had a small allergic reaction to this one but the clinic isn't too worried about it, they just want me to take benadryl before hand. The ultra sound showed that I have 5 follicles between 1.2 - 1.0 and then 30 that were small....so we are off to a great start....lets see what tomorrow brings. They did decrease my dose of Gonal F to 300iu today!
My emotions were in better check today but the new medication was making me feel sick and gave me a headache. It will all be worth it when I see my little one(s) for the first time.....keeping focused on the goal!
My emotions were in better check today but the new medication was making me feel sick and gave me a headache. It will all be worth it when I see my little one(s) for the first time.....keeping focused on the goal!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Day 3
So I am one injection in (from last night) and already feeling like I am losing my head. I would say that I feel today like I did at the end of the last cycle. I can go from feeling totally normal to so bloody angry in the blink of an eye. Nothing has changed and nobody is around.....I just feel crazy!
I am SO blessed to have an AMAZING, WONDERFUL husband who can make me laugh even when I am crying, he is patient with me and as I have said does all my injections (which I am afraid of) but he is a calm, supportive energy and gets me through them each one at a time. I also have an amazing group of women that I met long ago on an infertility support board, we went from there to a private board to now on Facebook. Through the years some have had their babies and some of us are still waiting and trying but we are close and supportive and really really truly get what the others are going through. This is an amazing and unique thing to have during this process.
When feeling so nuts today and worrying about how I am going to cope with these crazy emotions without hurting anyones feelings I asked the girls for tips on how to get through this. One of them posted this as advice...I am posting it here to be able to read it daily.
"I've made a science out of trying to stay in control when you feel like the incredible hulk- ready to bust at the seams at any given moment. Okay so, no. You will not be able to get rid of it- but there are a few things that will help you "ride the waves".
First, remember to tell yourself that you are NOT INSANE. This is not your fault, and its just your body looking for a way to balance out the extra hormones. The more hormonal you are- the more the meds are working for you.
Second, stay away from people if you feel like it. I know that may not be totally realistic, but its better not to worry that you might snap at an inappropriate time. People who are close to you- make sure they understand and are ready to be forgiving.
Third, write. Keep a journal. It helps to have an outlet for the emotions,
When you are feeling your worst, take a few minutes behind closed doors and recite this to yourself "this is just the hormones, I am not crazy. I just need to cry and let it out. Every breath I take will level it out a little more. This is all part of the process. I can get through this. "
So this is the start of this journey and I am finding that the blog is therapeutic in a way. Here is to another needle tonight and feeling a bit better tomorrow!
(I HOPE)
I am SO blessed to have an AMAZING, WONDERFUL husband who can make me laugh even when I am crying, he is patient with me and as I have said does all my injections (which I am afraid of) but he is a calm, supportive energy and gets me through them each one at a time. I also have an amazing group of women that I met long ago on an infertility support board, we went from there to a private board to now on Facebook. Through the years some have had their babies and some of us are still waiting and trying but we are close and supportive and really really truly get what the others are going through. This is an amazing and unique thing to have during this process.
When feeling so nuts today and worrying about how I am going to cope with these crazy emotions without hurting anyones feelings I asked the girls for tips on how to get through this. One of them posted this as advice...I am posting it here to be able to read it daily.
"I've made a science out of trying to stay in control when you feel like the incredible hulk- ready to bust at the seams at any given moment. Okay so, no. You will not be able to get rid of it- but there are a few things that will help you "ride the waves".
First, remember to tell yourself that you are NOT INSANE. This is not your fault, and its just your body looking for a way to balance out the extra hormones. The more hormonal you are- the more the meds are working for you.
Second, stay away from people if you feel like it. I know that may not be totally realistic, but its better not to worry that you might snap at an inappropriate time. People who are close to you- make sure they understand and are ready to be forgiving.
Third, write. Keep a journal. It helps to have an outlet for the emotions,
When you are feeling your worst, take a few minutes behind closed doors and recite this to yourself "this is just the hormones, I am not crazy. I just need to cry and let it out. Every breath I take will level it out a little more. This is all part of the process. I can get through this. "
So this is the start of this journey and I am finding that the blog is therapeutic in a way. Here is to another needle tonight and feeling a bit better tomorrow!
(I HOPE)
Friday, July 9, 2010
Officially started!
So tonight we started with the gonal F again. I was fine all day and then became quite nervous when 9 pm came around. Lucky for me I have a wonderful hubby who does all my injections and is an old pro, he walked me through it step by step! The dosing is twice what I was on last cycle so we will see by Monday how many follicles there will be starting!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
We are officially back on this ride again....
Today I went for the ultrasound and blood work to start the cycle.
All is well so we will begin stimulation medications tomorrow in the evenings. I am on 375iu of Gonal F. Then on Monday start with ultrasounds and blood work daily for at least a week.....or until the follicles are ready! I picked up the progesterone oil and needles yesterday....they are big but not as big as I was thinking, either that or I am trying to trick myself into feeling ok about them! LOL
I will try to write daily posts about all that is happening! Here's hoping these meds don't make me more insane than I already am! :)
All is well so we will begin stimulation medications tomorrow in the evenings. I am on 375iu of Gonal F. Then on Monday start with ultrasounds and blood work daily for at least a week.....or until the follicles are ready! I picked up the progesterone oil and needles yesterday....they are big but not as big as I was thinking, either that or I am trying to trick myself into feeling ok about them! LOL
I will try to write daily posts about all that is happening! Here's hoping these meds don't make me more insane than I already am! :)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Not long now!
Happy CANADA Day!
Tomorrow is the last day of my BCP then we wait for AF and it all starts again. With the short protocol this time around things will move quickly and so as it approaches its making me a little more nervous!
So many things running through my head and so hard to sort through all the thoughts....what can go well ....what can go wrong.....etc! I am trying to take it one day at a time and see how it goes!
That's it for day! Have a good long weekend all you Canadian peoples! :)
Tomorrow is the last day of my BCP then we wait for AF and it all starts again. With the short protocol this time around things will move quickly and so as it approaches its making me a little more nervous!
So many things running through my head and so hard to sort through all the thoughts....what can go well ....what can go wrong.....etc! I am trying to take it one day at a time and see how it goes!
That's it for day! Have a good long weekend all you Canadian peoples! :)
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