Baby Blanket Crochet

This is the current crochet project that I am working on! Its been a while since I had time to crochet, but I am working hard to get this one done by the time my friends baby arrives.



This is a really easy simple and beautiful pattern to crochet.



I hope that my friend likes it as much as I do!



Hope to posted a finished product in a few weeks!

Long time!!

So apparently pregnancy and new parenthood had me a little busy. I m back to say we delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl in April this past year! She is the light of our lives and one perfect little miracle! She is also now 7 months old!



I'll add a new picture soon! This was 4 days old!

I m going to try to keep up with my blogging about everyday life and projects that I am working on. I am currently working on making her a Christmas stocking and crocheting a blanket for a friend who is expecting!

Here's hoping that I can keep up with it this time around!!

Finally telling the world!

So sorry I took such a long pause but I wanted to make sure that all was well before we told the world WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!

We couldn't be happier or more excited! We still feel like we are dreaming and time is flying by so quickly!

I will post more often again now that the cat is out of the bag! (what a terrible saying)

Online reading and support groups.

It amazes me how much we all read as we make our way through fertility challenges.
In the beginning we read lots of info about how to optimize chances of getting pregnant and conception. I also read lots about pregnancy and infants to be prepared, because 9 months will go quick.......Then after a while of TTC (trying to conceive) with no luck you begin to read about reproductive technologies and what to expect. Most of this is done online, but I did spend some money at Chapters.
Then we get into the fertility treatments and so we read again...then the mind games kick in and you read more about symptoms and statistics...etc. Then you get to the point where I got to today (this happens every cycle) You just can't read anymore.
You have the info you do and you just have to wait it all out.

The other important thing for me in this journey is my online support group!

Most of us then find some sort of fertility support group online. People who really get you and what you are going through as they are there as well. I joined a fertility group and read about others experiences got to know them and made some great friends....but as the years went by they ALL got pregnant except me. So I then moved on and joined a new group(I am still in touch with some from the old group but they aren't where I am anymore so I needed to find that again). The new group I joined is also a great group of women and we have all been chatting online & facebook for 4 or 5 years now.....but once again ALL but 3 of us are pregnant or moms.

So here I sit after reading online tonight about statistics of IVF from our clinic (things I already know) symptoms of medications, symptoms of pregnancy and then about mind games that go along with all this infertility.
Told myself that this is not helping so I stopped and decided to write about it!

Hope......

I hope that this all makes sense to those who are reading this. Its hard to make sense of it all and even harder to put it into words.

When did hope become a scary thing for me??

Going through this infertility journey at some point having hope became a scary thing for me. I feel like I need/want to have hope to move forward and be positive but at the same time the more hope I have the harder the fall will be if things don't go our way. I think part of this is also what we have been through in the past. I am really hopeful that this is our time and that we will have our baby(S) soon, but at the same time there are moments where my mind stops me from being so hopeful in case...just in case.

The biggest/hardest part of anyone infertility journey is the mind games that you play with yourself. Everything from phantom symptoms to the hope/not hope issue. Feeling better after all the medications and procedures and then feeling badly because if you are pregnant shouldn't you feel something different. (cramps, nausea or lightheaded) It really is an up and down roller coaster ride....unfortunately not one you choose to get on or off of.

I am working our way through the waiting period and hopefully our lives change forever!

Please keep sending love & prayers!

A bit of a down day.

Well on this rollercoaster ride that is trying to concieve there are always up and downs......even when you don't expect them.

This morning when we got up there was a message on the phone from the fertility clinic. It was the lab tech calling to update us on our 6 embryos that we have at the lab. He then says that they have all died!! WHAT??? How do they go from being strong 8 & 10 cell embryos on Thursday to dead on Sunday morning. "Sometimes that happens" (For those of you who don't know this is what happened last IVF cycle but we had 4 and they arrested - "died") So after hearing this message it sent me into the mind set that we are repeating exactly what happened last time.....so the emotions rush over you and you think to yourself.....I can't do this again!

This cycle was feeling SO DIFFERENT than the last....everything from the meds to the retrival to the amount of eggs....even to our 8 cell compacting embryos that we transfered. We had the head of the clinic preform the transfer which was amazing because that is one of the most important procedures of all this......everything felt like it was going different and better almost.


We are both very disapointed and sad that our little lab embryos didn't make it but we are going to focus all our love and energy on the 2 little ones that are hopefully getting REALLY comfy in my uterus.

A good friend of mine also let us know that her transfer didn't work and she got a BFN (big fat negative) so my heart was breaking for her. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make her feel less pain. Only time & love will help!

So I sit and wonder if this journey is so rough/hard, why do we stay on it for so long??? I know the end result will be amazing and wonderful.......but sometimes its hard to see that through all the crap!!

LOVE & HUGS to L! Hope your heart heals quickly!

Just a quick update

I am feeling better today! Still tender in the tummy area but overall much better than earlier this week. I am still wondering why I recovered so quickly last time and this time is taking so much longer.

I spent today sitting on my bum on the couch, reading, watching TV....surfing facebook and being waited on for everything by my loving hubby! I am very fortunate to have him in my life! LOVE YOU!

Here is my question....why is it so hard for me to let someone look after me,take care of me or help me? Simple things like asking for toast in the morning I feel bad, like I am asking him to do something HUGE or really hard. He is more than happy to make me breakfast or tea. Its just something within me! Ryan's new rule is that I am not allowed to say "I'm Sorry" after asking him for something. LOL I guess I should just sit back and relax about it all......after all when these babies get here there will be no more siting around for me either!

Thanks babe for all your help!